Authentic Intelligence™
Disrupting the AI Space Since 1985™
* No 8-bit computers were harmed in the making of this AI (probably)
Contract Address:
*Totally real and definitely not made up
'Advanced' 8-Bit AI 🧠
Our AI is so advanced it runs on authentic 1985 technology! No hallucinations because our pixels are too big for complex thoughts. It's like Pac-Man but for your money! 👾
'Neural' Network 🕸️
Our neural network consists of Kevin's brain cell and a Magic 8-Ball connected by dial-up internet. The 8-Ball does most of the work because it has better graphics! 🎱
Retro Chat 'Interface' 💬
Our chat interface uses revolutionary 8-bit technology: pre-written responses and a random number generator from 1985. It's like AI but with more pixels and less intelligence! 🎲
Meet Our "AI" Team
LIVE FOOTAGE
Meet Kevin - Our "AI"
This is Kevin. He's not actually an AI, just a guy we keep tied to a chair in our office and force to write responses all day. When you chat with "Authentic Intelligence™," you're literally just talking to Kevin who's desperately trying to sound like a robot.
Kevin's Qualifications:
- Dropped out of community college (twice)
- Expert at copy-pasting from Reddit
- Can type 12 words per minute (on a good day)
- Powered entirely by energy drinks and existential dread
- Has watched at least 3 YouTube videos about crypto
- Excellent at pretending to be a computer
"Please send help. They only feed me ramen noodles and broken dreams. Also, my chair is really uncomfortable." - Kevin, 2025
* Kevin is not actually held against his will. He's here voluntarily because his mom kicked him out and we provide free WiFi.
** The rope is just for show. It's actually just really strong tape.